Style Tips for Moms
As moms, we welcome Spring’s warmer temperatures that allow children to play outside, but often stress about what to wear during the sports season that comes with it. One of the biggest complaints of many of my clients who are mothers is that when they took on the rigors of managing a family, out went any sense of personal style. I tell these women that while their lifestyle may not require the wardrobe of a supermodel, there is no reason they can’t feel attractive and stylish even when chasing kids and grocery shopping. Just as she endeavors to please the members of her family, a mother deserves to feel pleased about her own appearance.
There is a fine line when it comes to proper dressing for such occasions. Moms want to look suitably casual, but not sloppy. Perhaps a bit dressier than athletic wear, but not so glitzy that one appears to be “trying too hard.” Being age-appropriate is also a concern: be too trendy and risk looking like you are trying to emulate a teenager, but god forbid falling too far on the other side of the spectrum and being labeled “frumpy” or “matronly.”
So what to do? I recommend that instead of focusing on trendy fashion, focus on the fit of basic pieces that work for your life. Often, it isn’t the style of clothing that someone wears that makes them look frumpy, it is the fit that does. Take, for example, a pair of capri pants and a T-shirt, which is a staple summer outfit for many moms. They call them “mom jeans” for a reason, you know, so be careful about how frumpy your pants are fitting. I am not implying that your pants should be so fashion forward that your teenage daughter will want to wear them, but there is a broad spectrum between pants your kids will wear and pants that are just plain dowdy.
Start by investing in some basic casual pieces. Look for items that are easy to care for and comfortable, but well-fitting. The tendency is to buy casual clothes solely for comfort and not for flattery, thus too large or baggy. When it comes to fit, casual clothes should be held the same standards as dressier clothes. Just as you do for those dressier clothes, think about building wardrobes. For example, choose cohesive pieces built around basic styles and colors for the best mix-and-match wardrobe. Here are a few tips to help you find your own casual style without falling prey to the “soccer mom uniform.”
Tees
A great tee shirt, one that fits correctly (in no way baggy but not skin tight either), is a weekend staple. For best fit, look for tees with at least some lycra/ spandex content, as this will help the tee hold its shape. When you try tees on, be certain that the shoulder seams hit AT your shoulder (not half way down your arm), that the hem is longenough to cover your waistband when you sit down or cheer for that scored goal/base hit, and that the body doesn't tent out around you but rather gently hugs your torso. Crew necks are always easy, but look also for tees with a scoop or V neck or (good for those with larger chests), boat neck (can balance wider hips) and square neck (elongates a short neck). With a few exceptions, polo-style shirts are generally dated for women and should be left to dads. And when in doubt of whether a neckline is too low, layer a fitted tank underneath!
DONT’S:
-Team uniform (unless you are a coach and absolutely required)
-Bared (or even peeking out) midriffs
-Tees with “cute” logos, sayings, cartoons, etc.
Lightweight Sweaters
Juicy Couture Striped Pointelle Hoodie, $248
J.Crew V-neck short-sleeve cardigan, $59.50
A simple cardigan, hoodie or pullover sweater is easy to layer for outdoor activities; wear over a tee or tank. Cotton and cashmere can both be washed at home; both make good layering pieces for those windy spring baseball games. As with tees, look for interesting detailing on the sweaters - three quarter sleeves, for example, which can beworn over a long sleeved tee for a cool layered look - and cheerful colors.
Simple jacket
Addidas “Street Graphic" Fleece Hoodie, $44
Spring often means winds and temperatures that can veer from positively summery to quite cold in a matter of innings. Having a lightweight jacket - including one that can withstand wind and rain and cold - is a must for sporty weekends. Choose a tailored cut; warm or weatherproof without being bulky. Some days will be merely crisp and allow for just a zippered jacket or hoodie. Avoid windsuit or overly athletic looks (leave those to the mall walkers and joggers, respectively). Instead opt for fitted jackets in fun colors and rich fabrics like velour or terry.
Yoga pants & Jeans
Old Navy Yoga Pants, $19.50
Yes, you read that right: busy moms need a pair of yoga pants, because inevitably, some Saturday, your son or daughter will have an 8:00AM game, and it will be all you can do to get everyone fed and dressed and out the door in time. The important thing here, though, is that you wants a pair of yoga pants that FIT PROPERLY, particularly through the backside. Look for a fairly substantial fabric, because thiner fabrics will cling, and something with some stretch, too, because it will smooth out the parts of you that may not be so smooth. Pair yoga pants with a hoodie or a tee and a sweater.
Jeans are a no-brainer. Just make sure they are NOT the dreaded “Mom Jeans!” Avoid this by buying jeans with a darker wash, lower waist and modern fit. I am a proponent of the “premium denim” jeans, aptly named not only for the quality but also the price! Once you get over the sticker shock, in my opinion, these jeans are well worth it because or the superior fit, look and durability. Be prepared to try on a LOT of different pairs in different brands, styles and sizes. It can get kind of frustrating, so if you don’t want to hire someone like me to hold your hand throughout the process, go to a shop that has a denim specialist (Belk, Soca, Doree) who knows how different styles fit. Brands to check out include Joe’s, 7 for All Mankind, Citizens of Humanity, David Kahn and Not Your Daughter’s Jeans.
DONT’S:
-”Mom jeans”
-Jean shorts
Dresses
Ecoganik Jersey Dress, $108
Many women can’t imagine wearing a dress to the ball field, but I’m not talking about ladies’ lunch frocks. I’m talking about loose, comfortable jersey knit dresses that are perfect for those hot days. Paired with cute flip-flops (I recommend a go-with- everything metallic pair), a soft, cool dress is my favorite for those sweltering Saturdays.
Cute casual shoes
J-41 “Leo,” $90
Since you’re probably not actually PLAYING a sport in these shoes, they need not be actual athletic shoes. Puma, Rocket Dog, Privo and Merrell are among the vendors who make great sporty slides and slip-on sneakers; wear them with jeans or yoga pants. Ballet flats, driving mocs or cute flip-flops are a nice alternative with jeans, shorts and summer dresses.
DONT’S:
-Keds
ACCESSORIES
Not much is needed in the way of jewelry with the exception of a watch and a simple pair of earrings. As an alternative to an athletic watch, I wear a man’s stainless watch - the size and style makes it appropriately casual and sporty. As for earrings, a pair of diamond studs (faux or real) is classic and simple.
DONT’S:
-Scrunchies
When it comes down to it, most important is to take the stress out of dressing for sports season so that you feel comfortable and attractive in your clothes, allowing you to focus on cheering your child to victory.
Chic Tip: Pest Proofing your Clothes
Now that the weather has finally turned cold, I have been getting out my winter knits, and inevitably (despite what I thought were some pretty good efforts) have found a few dreaded moth holes. So it's worth reviewing how to keep these annoying and destructive pests at bay:
WHAT'S BUGGING YOU
If you see moths flying in your house, they probably aren't clothes moths, but pantry pests -- the type that infests flour and grains. Clothes moths don't like light and are so secretive that you'll probably never see them. What's more, the adult moths won't do any harm. Damage to woolens is actually done by the larvae of two types of insects: clothes moths and carpet beetles (the latter being more prevalent than moths in most areas of the country). Both insects lay eggs in secluded spots with plenty of food -- wool, fur, down, shed pet dander, and other animal-based materials. Larvae emerge within a few weeks; beetle larvae can feed on fabric for a year or more and moth larvae may cause damage for a couple months.
CLEANING UP
Moth and beetle larvae shun bright light, so they rarely attack frequently worn clothing or heavily trafficked carpets. They thrive in clothing that is packed away and carpet hidden under furniture, especially if there are food spills or other attractive scents. The best strategy? Keep things clean.
VACUUMING
Weekly use of the vacuum and general good housekeeping go a long way toward keeping pests at bay. If you clean often, you may remove them without even knowing it. Vacuuming also removes moth eggs and larvae from carpets before they have the opportunity to hatch.
LAUNDRY
Before you pack up winter clothing for storage, wash or dry-clean garments that have been worn. This rids them of moth and beetle eggs and also eliminates perspiration remnants and food spills, which attract and nourish pests. Moths and beetles don't eat items made of synthetic or cotton fabrics, but you should clean those, too, if you store them with woolens.
BRUSHING
If you have winter coats you haven't worn, you probably won't want to pay for dry cleaning just to guard against eggs that might have been deposited on them. Yet if you store them as is, you risk an infestation. In this case, try an old-fashioned but effective regimen: Take the items outside on a sunny day and brush them vigorously, especially under collars and along seams. This should remove eggs and larvae, which are so small, you probably won't be able to see them. In case you miss a few of the pests or their eggs, pack this clothing separately from laundered or dry-cleaned items.
SMART STORAGE
Moths and beetles can get through extremely tight spaces. When storing woolens, reclosable plastic bags or plastic boxes are best for keeping pests out. To protect the items from condensation, wrap them in lengths of clean cotton, and store. Take care in using plastic containers for long-term storage -- years rather than months -- as they do not allow the items to breathe, and some plastics may degrade fabric over time. If storing valuable items, consult with a professional textile conservator for recommendations (like those who preserve wedding dresses).
CHOOSING A METHOD
There are numerous products -- some natural, some chemical-based, and with varying levels of effectiveness -- that are intended to deter moths and beetles. It's best to know a product's pros and cons before you make a choice. In the right circumstances, any of these approaches can be useful. Just remember that nothing discourages clothes moths and carpet beetles more than keeping your woolen items clean and storing them correctly.
CEDAR
The dark-colored heartwood of red cedar contains natural oils that kill clothes-moth larvae, but this alone won't protect clothing. It's not effective against carpet beetles, and, with moths, it kills only young larvae, not older ones or eggs. The effect also fades as the scent does. You can replenish the scent of boards, closets, and chests by sanding the wood lightly or dabbing on cedar oil, but there is no way to know if you've added enough. If you have a cedar chest, it's best to think of it as a reasonably airtight storage container -- and only keep clean fabric inside it. Again, wrap items in clean cotton before storing them.
MOTHBALLS AND MOTH CRYSTALS
These can thwart infestations but come with many drawbacks, so you're probably better off without them. Both products contain pesticides that can be harmful to people, unborn babies, and pets. Since mothballs and moth crystals work by releasing fumigant gas, they must be used in tight-fitting containers, rather than in closets or drawers, to be effective. If you do use these products, keep containers out of your living area -- in a garage, perhaps. And air out clothing thoroughly outside before wearing it or hanging it in your closet again (dry cleaning won't eliminate the mothball odor).
LAVENDER
Using this plant to repel clothes moths is an old homemaker's trick. Sachets filled with lavender (and/or laced with its oil) and suspended in your closet or tucked in your drawers are said to protect woolens. They will also leave a pleasant scent behind. Lavender will not, however, kill moth eggs or larvae, so be sure the space is free of them first.
SOLVING AN EXISTING PROBLEM
What if you already have clothes or carpet pests? Here are some tips for identifying the bugs you are dealing with, getting rid of them, and then salvaging your woolen items.
WHAT TO LOOK FOR
You won't likely see clothes moths, but if you find holes, you know you have a problem. With moth larvae, you may find silky webbing or cigarlike cocoons. Beetle larvae leave dried skins -- like tiny rice grains.
TREATING CLOTHES
Remove and treat all infested material. You might throw away the most damaged clothing. Dry-clean or launder items you keep; freezing also eradicates pests: Put items in sealed plastic bags, squeeze out air, and freeze for a few days. Take the bags out, let them return to room temperature, and then repeat. In case of condensation, let clothes air out before storing again.
CLEANING CARPETS
For a severe infestation, call a professional. To treat a minor problem, buy a spray made for these pests and spot test to make sure it doesn't affect the carpet color. Apply, following label instructions, anywhere you find traces of larvae or don't often clean -- such as behind bookcases and along baseboards. Treat both sides of the carpet (if not fastened down) and the rug pad.
CATCHING THEM ALL
Clean your house thoroughly before replacing treated items. If furniture is infested, you might need to call an exterminator.
USING TRAPS
Try pheromone-laced cardboard traps to check if moths remain. (These shouldn't be your main defense, however, and won't trap beetles.)
MENDING
You may be able to repair blankets or other large-thread items yourself, using matching yarn. Finely woven items and heirlooms should be taken to a company that specializes in reweaving. This can be rather expensive, so be sure to weigh the cost before doing so - you may be better off just replacing certain knits.
Chic Tip: Shopping Tips From a Pro
As a fashion consultant, I spend an inordinate amount of time browsing clothes online. Accordingly, over the years I've amassed several insider tips for shopping smarter. I figure that a couple of days before biggest shopping day of the year is a perfect time to share my tips on everything from how to score a promo code to knowing the exact time a sale goes live.
When are the best sales? It's not when you think.
Ask any shopping enthusiast the best day of the year to shop, and she’ll probably answer Black Friday. While there are definitely deals to be had, according to the Wall Street Journal, there are other times of year when prices are lower. The two months when you’ll snag the best deals? Early January and late June. And of course, with the influx of flash sale sites like Gilt, RueLaLa and Hautelook, there are amazing sales to be had every 24 hours. So stay out of the fray and home with your family enjoying leftovers on the day after Thanksgiving!
Know when your wanted items go on sale.
Sign up at sites like Hukkster to get notifications when her favorite items go on sale. Whether you do most of your online shopping on a computer or mobile device, you can get an email or push notification the second your favorite items are reduced.
Find out when stores get new shipments.
Buddy up to the local store manager of your favorite shopping haunts and find out which day of the week they get in new merchandise. Often when new clothing comes in, older clothing will be moved toward the back of the store and put on sale.
eBay Save Search
Is the item of your dreams sold out everywhere? No worries: there's second hope for slackers on eBay. Simply search the brand and style name of the desired garment on eBay. When the search results come up, narrow down by size and the maximum amount you are willing to spend, then click on the link at the top that says “save search.” It will give you the option to receive an email when new items matching your search terms are listed. I actually use this tool to shop - each morning I receive an email with offerings in my size from my favorite designers.
Use coupon codes: Refuse to pay retail!
Often sites will advertise their coupon codes, but occasionally a discount code will fly under the radar, in which case RetailMeNot.com is a godsend. With coupons for over 50,000 sites, I never make a purchase without checking the site first.
Amex Sync
American Express’ Amex Sync program allows cardholders to link their plastic to Facebook, Foursquare, or Twitter to get deals in exchange for sharing a post, checking in, or Tweeting. For example, recently cardholders could tweet #amexwarby to score $10 back on a pair of Warby Parker frames. The no-hassle approach doesn’t require any coupon codes; simply pay with your Amex card and your statement will automatically be credited.
Shop Off-Season
This may seem like a no-brainer, but consciously planning ahead to shop for fall items in the spring and vice versa can save you a bundle. Sure, buying a bathing suit in September isn’t as fun, but when you aren’t paying full price for that bikini at the peak of next swim season, you’ll be smiling.
Sign Up For The Store's Newsletter
Increasingly, e-commerce sites are drawing in new newsletter subscribers with the lure of a promotion code. In addition to the easy discount off your first purchase, signing up can be worth the extra email in your inbox when you get advance notice of promotions or access to secret sales.
ShopStyle
In addition to checking RetailMeNot.com, search the item on ShopStyle.com to confirm that your intended online store of choice is actually selling it for the lowest price. Often smaller boutiques you may be unaware of are selling the same item for less!
Lucky Breaks
The ladies behind Lucky are women after our own shopping-happy hearts. They have an entire Lucky Breaks section dedicated to delivering sweet deals—usually 50% off editor-curated items, ranging from darling earrings to printed pencil skirts.
Ask Tracy: Be Don Draper?
Q: My brother and I have an ongoing debate I'm hoping you can clear up. When is it appropriate/ not appropriate for a man to wear a hat?
A: Not only do I conduct a lot of business dress code seminars, but from time to time I am asked to teach etiquette classes. So this is a question that frequently arises, especially with the recent popularity of the TV show Mad Men, depicting an era during which hats trended toward dapper styles, and baseball caps were reserved for actual baseball players.
In the 1930s through most of the '50s, a man wasn't considered fully dressed without a hat. But by the 1960s, hat wearing fell out of favor, partly as a result of longer hairstyles, cars with lower roofs, and resistance from some World War II vets weary from wearing helmets for so long. JFK's habit of not donning a hat was seen as the final blow to the trend.
In large part to Mad Men, hats are experiencing a revival, but unfortunately the rules surrounding hat wearing (and removal) have not followed suit. Generally one shows respect to others by uncovering indoors, but "indoors" can be a subjective term. All homes, churches (unless required by the religion) and restaurants should be hat-free. Public spaces, like train stations, airports, hallways and elevators, are considered hats-optional, as are sports arenas. However, old school gentlemen (a lost breed) will still remove their hat when a lady enters an elevator.
Ladies are mostly exempt from hat etiquette, with the exception of baseball caps. It has always been accepted that if a hat is considered part of a woman's outfit, it may be kept on. In the spirit of equality, this allowance is now being extended to men as well, to the pleasure of vendors such as J.Crew and Gap, who have included fedoras and pageboy caps in recent collections.
But to all, wearing a baseball cap backwards is never appropriate!
Chic Tip: Jacket for Early Fall?
Q: What kind of jacket is good for fall, something that won't be too heavy but that I can wear to work?
A: I am a big fan of the trench coat, a wardrobe staple in my opinion, especially here in the south, where it doesn't get super cold for very long. Contrary to what some believe, the trench is not just a raincoat. Created in the 1900's by Thomas Burberry, the most traditional fabrication is cotton gabardine (which Burberry himself invented), but today other materials are used, including wool and leather. However for our Alabama climate, a cotton variety will get the most wear. Below are some tips for selecting the right trench.
• A khaki trench always works, be it in a darker tan or a lighter shade like cement. Black is also a great option, and can carry into night time. Fun colors and finishes abound, but keep in mind those say fashion more than they do business.
• Your trench should hit anywhere between two and six inches above the knee. And it should feel snug, with slim, clean lines.
• The collar is designed to be flipped up (it keeps your neck dry, and it looks better that way). Pop the back, but let the sides hang loose for an easier look.
• It is considered more fashionable to knot the belt rather than actually loop it through the D-ring. If your trench fits as well as it should, you don’t have to cinch the belt around your waist at all if you so choose. Let it hang or loosely tie it behind your back.
• As with most wardrobe staples, quality is important. My clients who own iconic Burberry trench coats have had them 20+ years.
Ask Tracy: Dressing for Success
Q: I am female professional working in a conservative banking environment. I have trouble being creative with my wardrobe and end up wearing pantsuits everyday, usually in navy, grey, black, brown or taupe, with a solid shell underneath. What else can I wear but still maintain a professional image?
A: No offense, but your work wardrobe sounds rather, well, "snore." This is 2013! We are no longer in the days of "to compete with a man you must dress like a man." No need to hide your femininity or shy away from color, print and pattern. One of the first things I do when reorganizing a client's closet is I separate the suits: jackets in one section, pants in another, to encourage mixing and matching. Changes in one's style can be difficult, so weening into a new look is often best. Since you seem to be comfortable with the jacket and pant formula, start there. You have all of the neutral basics, so now look for what I call novelty jackets - jackets that are just a single piece and offer some sort of interest, whether it be via a print, texture, shape or detail. Stay traditional by pairing a Chanel- style black and white tweed jacket with your black suit pants. Try bold color by pairing a coral or color-of-the-moment orange jacket with your grey pants.
You can also mix and match in reverse: wear your taupe jacket with ivory herringbone weave pants or your brown with glen plaid pants, all you need is a hint of brown in the pattern to tie the two together. Then you can start thinking about wearing your jackets over sleek sheath dresses (preferably patterned sheaths, but start with solids if need be). And finally, especially in the dead of summer, consider dropping the jacket idea all together from time to time, and when it is 98 degrees outside, choose a clean-lined dress. There are plenty of professional looking dress options, like those from Kay Unger, David Meister, Elie Tahari, Banana Republic and Ann Taylor. In all cases, never underestimate the importance of great shoes and accessories! Even with the most conservative clothing, both should be current (not necessarily trendy, just not dated) and in good condition. As designer Kate Spade said, "Accessories are what make an outfit a little bit more you," thus differentiating you from all of the other suits out there.
Ask Tracy: Leather in the Summer?
Q: I've seen leather in the stores this summer - is it really appropriate to wear leather in warm weather in the south?
A: Just as there is summer-weight wool, there is also summer-weight leather. Lighter and thinner than its fall/winter counterpart, this season's leather is unlined and often more loosely constructed. Because genuine animal skins do not breathe (nor do the synthetic versions, for that matter), these qualities are what make it wearable in warmer temperature.
Favorite items I've seen this summer include: a hip cognac 3/4 sleeve unlined bolero jacket, a dainty white laser cut A-line skirt, and a fitted black knit sheath dress with a visually slimming ivory leather center panel. Keep it simple: too much embellishment complicates what should be a clean silhouette, and the "biker look" is not in keeping with the trend.